


The First Time

by julien (julie)



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: First Time, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-26
Updated: 2000-01-26
Packaged: 2020-12-20 20:27:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21062696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/julien
Summary: J.D. is restless under the burden of his virginity, but he's shocked when his friend Buck offers to help him out.





	The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** J.D. is of age, and there is no on-page underage sex, but Buck has cause to remember his first sexual encounter (consensual, with a sex worker) at the age of 14. 
> 
> **First published:** 26 January 2000 in my zine Westering Boundaries

# The First Time 

♦

It was Saturday, and Buck Wilmington was spending the evening at the town’s saloon. He was happy: he had money in his pocket for whisky; he had good friends for company; and when it came time to choose a companion for the night, there were at least two or three ladies nearby who seemed willing… What more could he possibly want? Life had always been good to Buck.

Providing a direct contrast, however, J.D. Dunne obviously wasn’t happy: the women were smiling at Buck, and _not_ at the young man standing at the bar beside him.

Buck tilted his head close to advise, ‘That’s the thing about animal magnetism, kid: you just can’t compete with it.’

‘Yeah, well,’ J.D. bitterly responded, ‘those of us who don’t have any, what are we supposed to do?’

‘Envious, now, are you?’ Buck laughed, remembering how disgusted J.D. had initially been about the whole concept. ‘You’ve changed your tune.’

A sour glance from the youngster unwittingly conveyed the story: J.D. was growing more and more restless under the burden of his virginity.

Lifting his whisky glass, Buck cast an appraising look over his young friend, and opined, ‘It really is too bad that you’re still so… _pristine_.’ Despite the boy’s desperate shushing, Buck didn’t bother lowering his voice. ‘You could do with a little tarnishing.’

‘I’ve been tarnished plenty of times,’ J.D. asserted.

‘Of course you have, J.D..’ Buck’s light tone made it clear he didn’t believe a word of it. ‘Pity there’s so many shiny spots left, that’s all. Looks like someone came along and started polishing you up again.’

‘You _heard_ me and Emily together, I know you did – you were following me!’

‘Uh huh.’ But Buck hadn’t been fooled for long by the kerfuffle J.D. and Emily created in the stables one night: that extravagant performance had been for show only. As if the loving of a greenhorn boy could actually make a working girl _howl_, even if she was as young (and perhaps almost as inexperienced) as J.D. himself.

‘And what makes you think it’s your business, anyhow?’

The kid sure was prickly tonight… ‘What do you think of those ladies over there?’ Buck asked, leaning back against the bar and indicating two of the more amenable members of the town’s female population. Maybe tonight, at last, Buck’s efforts to help his friend would not be in vain…

J.D. considered the women with remarkable dispassion. ‘What about them?’

Buck rolled his eyes. ‘Could you fancy one of them?’

The immediate response was a sardonic mirroring of Buck’s exasperation. Of course: right now, J.D. could fancy virtually anything in a skirt. ‘I think the question is,’ J.D. stiffly said, turning to prop his elbows either side of his drink, and hanging his head, ‘the question you should be asking is, could one of them fancy me?’

‘No question about it,’ Buck said confidently, even while he mentally decided to approach the women himself. J.D. would be better off waiting here at the bar during negotiations. ‘You’re a fine-looking young man, J.D..’ Maybe Buck’d have to promise the favor would be repaid: once J.D. had gotten lucky, Buck could put his skills towards making it up to the woman… ‘I bet you either of those ladies’d be proud to help out.’

‘Help out?’ J.D. repeated with a groan. ‘That’s right, Buck, make it sound like charity.’

Buck patted the boy on the shoulder, and continued scheming. Just to make sure, maybe the four of them could share a bed – those two women, Buck and J.D.. That could work. Then Buck’d be able to ensure that everyone was fairly done by, and that J.D. was well and truly tarnished by morning. ‘You just need to get past your first time,’ Buck reassured his friend. ‘It’s all smooth sailing once you’ve gotten started.’

‘That’s exactly what I need,’ the kid complained: ‘_more_ advice.’

After a moment’s consideration, Buck turned to his companion, and spoke quietly: ‘I have to tell you, though, first times are not always good.’

J.D. looked at him as if he’d gone mad. ‘Now you’re trying to dissuade me? Make up your mind, Buck!’ Then he got curious. ‘What about your first time? Wasn’t that any good?’

Buck shook his head. In fact, ever since Buck had taken J.D. out to Wickes’ Town, with the express purpose of getting the boy laid, Buck had found himself haunted by the memory of his first woman. Even though Helena, one of his mother’s fairest colleagues, had been a sweet and generous woman willing to bestow this favor on a fourteen-year-old Buck, things had not gone all that well. Helena had just laughed gently, and murmured, ‘Never mind, sugar, there’s always next time.’

She’d been kind to him, and knowledgeable; she’d taken some care to try to make it work. But with the benefit of hindsight and a great deal of experience, Buck figured he had to be able to manage things better. _Yeah_, he concluded, _for J.D. it should be a foursome: I can be there to help him along_…

‘You’re not gonna tell me about it?’

‘No, it’s something you’ll just have to find out for yourself, J.D..’

The kid turned back to the bar, and poured himself another nip of whisky, shaking his head in despair. Buck watched him, reflecting on his fondness for this youngster whose energy and curiosity and impatience to get on with life’s journey reminded Buck of himself. J.D.’s innocence and woeful inexperience, however, were traits Buck had barely known and never regretted: being brought up in a brothel tended to do that to a boy.

It was time for J.D. to finally lose his virginity, Buck concluded, and start living life; it was time for J.D.’s eagerness to be rewarded with joy rather than stifled in ignorance. In fact, now that Buck thought more about it, he wondered if the first time, always fraught with difficulties, might not get worse the longer it was delayed.

Hell, maybe Buck should forget about the women, and simply handle this himself…

He turned to consider J.D.. The boy was indeed fine-looking, and Buck felt quite fond of him; it would be no hardship to play such a personal role in his tarnishing. ‘Way I see it,’ Buck murmured, ‘you need a friend to help you through this.’

‘Huh.’ J.D. was still casting disconsolate glances at the two women Buck had drawn to his attention. ‘Guess I don’t have the right kind of friends.’

‘J.D., I’d be honored if you chose me.’

‘For what?’

Buck remained silent in the peaceable mayhem of the saloon.

Eventually, impatience winning, J.D. turned back to face him. ‘Choose you for _what_, Buck?’

‘Your first.’

Impatience turned to confusion, painted boldly across the young face; then confusion became disbelief, and finally it turned to disgust. A fascinated kind of disgust, but disgust nonetheless. ‘For God’s sake, Buck!’ J.D. retorted. Then, fierce and low, he muttered, ‘Not so long ago they used to _hang_ men for that.’

Buck softly replied, ‘Law’s not always right, kid.’

J.D. shook his head, apparently buffaloed by the whole notion. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me… Ezra or someone put you up to this, right? There’s money riding on whether you can persuade me. I wish some greenhorn’d come to town so you’d all give over teasing _me_.’

‘I’m serious, J.D..’

A reluctant glance read Buck’s sincerity. ‘God, for once I wish you _were_ kidding me!’

‘All right,’ Buck responded, feeling a trifle hurt despite himself, and determined to hide it for now and then quickly forget about it. ‘I can take no for an answer.’ He politely tipped his hat, and murmured, ‘Goodnight, J.D.,’ before heading towards the two women who’d been awaiting his advances all evening.

♦

The trouble was, J.D. Dunne couldn’t stop thinking about his friend and the offer he’d made, couldn’t quit thinking about sinful sexual relations, even at Josiah’s church the next morning. J.D. hadn’t been to church since his mother’s funeral; at least not until Josiah had fixed up this place and started taking Sunday services. But even though J.D. was no longer a regular church-goer, he sure knew this was no place for these kinds of thoughts…

Nevertheless, J.D. sat in the pew behind Buck – though Buck was at the far end of his pew, and J.D. was safely right on the aisle – watching the man’s long lanky frame in its comfortable confident sprawl. Watching the happy way Buck flirted with the women who paid him attention. Watching his good-natured smile, the sparkle in his eyes. Watching the easy way he acknowledged J.D.’s presence but then paid him no mind whatsoever after that.

Buck was unique in J.D.’s experience, in that he loved life, and he loved women, with a happy humor all his own. The only other seducers J.D. had known were a couple of the men his mother worked for, and their friends – and they’d been hard and cynical, joyless and self-centered. The sort who thought that people could be owned, the sort who weren’t given to respecting chambermaids or stableboys. J.D. had never known his father, and his mother wouldn’t talk about him, so J.D. assumed the worst. But Buck wasn’t like any of that lot; Buck could tease and infuriate, but he was never cruel. Perhaps the biggest difference was that Buck Wilmington genuinely _liked_ people, and he _cared_ for his friends…

J.D. felt an involuntary stab of jealousy as Buck winked at a lady that J.D. knew Buck’d kept company with at least once. _As usual_, he thought, _the only person missing out on anything here is me_.

‘God provides,’ Josiah Sanchez intoned from the pulpit. ‘God, by whatever name you call him or her, provides. The _world_… provides. We are provided with everything we need in every moment of every day. Every joy, every blessing.’

Coloring up, J.D. wondered if Josiah could read minds, and prayed not. _Maybe God was providing for me last night, and I was stupid to turn away_.

‘Every challenge, every lesson. And if we listen hard enough,’ Josiah continued, ‘with honesty in our hearts, it is occasionally even given us to make sense of some of it.’

Buck was sitting there, complacently listening, wallowing in his own personal bit of providence. J.D. looked around to see if everyone else was agreeing with Josiah’s heartfelt message. Vin Tanner seemed happy enough with it, though his expression was more thoughtful than Buck’s. Sitting next to Vin, Chris Larabee seemed less than impressed, if he’d even heard Josiah: Chris was turned away, with bitter memories drawing his face long… Well, nothing new there.

J.D. turned back around just in time to see that lady return Buck’s smile. It wasn’t fair! Everyone was being provided for except J.D.. Well, and except for Chris, too, but that was the man’s own fault: J.D. figured Chris could have Mrs Travis if he asked nicely enough. As for Buck, with his animal magnetism, the man barely even had to ask… _So how often does he make an offer as generous as the one he made last night?_ For, throughout J.D.’s protests, there’d been no doubting Buck’s utter sincerity. In fact, J.D. had never seen the man quite like that before, asking for something like he really wanted it. And J.D. had turned him down…

_As well I should_, J.D. reflected, staring up at the altar, wishing for a return of his righteousness. The entire business was wrong wrong wrong, and J.D. had no idea why he’d hung around the saloon so long last night, watching Buck with a furious eye. At last, in the darkest hours, Buck had gone up to his room – alone, as far as J.D. could tell. As alone as J.D. had been. Maybe as restless, too, though who’d ever known Buck to be dissatisfied?

The congregation rose to sing one of the old standards that Josiah relied on because most people knew them. J.D. added his voice to the tumult, though he knew he was barely carrying the tune or even pronouncing the right words.

Sometimes J.D. feared he’d be alone forever; and though the other men scoffed at him when he talked as if his life was half over and his path already set, that was how he felt just now. It didn’t feel good. J.D. much preferred those times when he knew in his heart that he’d just started on a long, wondrous adventure, and only good things lay ahead.

Well, why shouldn’t Buck be one of those good things? It wasn’t as if J.D. had any family left alive any more, no one he could bring shame to. And he trusted Buck, he knew Buck’d take care of him. J.D. also trusted that Buck would be off seducing someone else five minutes later, but he didn’t suppose that mattered. They weren’t talking about falling in love and settling down, they were just talking about one encounter…

J.D. sank to the pew as the hymn ended, and bowed his head in a private prayer. _God, dear God, if this isn’t you providing for me, then please please please forgive me. I guess I just don’t know any better anymore_.

♦

Buck was getting a very clear picture of how he might spend the rest of the Sabbath, from the look in a certain lady’s merry blue eyes, and the way her mouth irrepressibly curled whenever she glanced up at him. They had temporarily lost each other in the kerfuffle outside the church, but the lady was drawing closer and closer now. Conquest was almost within Buck’s reach; he’d barely have to lift a finger…

Which was when J.D. burst into the tableau. Buck flushed with annoyance.

‘Buck!’ the kid breathlessly cried. ‘Where are you going? We were gonna get together, right?’ Then the boy colored up, and blurted out, ‘I mean – we were gonna have dinner together!’ as if the two men were in danger of their female companion correctly guessing at what other activities J.D. might have planned.

A moment stretched in which Buck gazed at his young friend, all defiance and eagerness and confusion, and weighed him against this woman who knew exactly what she wanted and how to go about getting it. The difference was… Well, to be honest, the main difference was that he was fond of J.D. in a way that he’d never been fond of any of the many women in his life or the few men he’d taken as lovers. Buck sighed.

‘Town business,’ J.D. asserted to the lady, though she was already turning away. ‘Sorry!’

‘I’ll see you next Sunday…?’ Buck called after her retreating figure – and she threw him a pleasantly regretful smile, which bode well for future encounters. ‘As for you,’ Buck continued, glaring at his companion, ‘if we’re dining, _you’re_ buying.’

And he knew he was in trouble when J.D. didn’t even try to protest. It seemed that, overnight, J.D. had decided he wanted this, he would take all that Buck could give. A tiny but potent frisson jolted between Buck’s hips: a familiar sensation. But his fondness for his young friend made his heart softly ache, and Buck wasn’t sure that combining such an ache with his passion was at all wise.

♦

Neither of them talked much while they were ordering and waiting for their meal. Buck was content to sit back quietly, and let things progress at their own pace. J.D., though, was far too nervous and uncertain to profit from Buck’s example; he was leaning forward with both elbows on the table, his weight and his energy focused solely on Buck. At last bursting into harshly whispered words, J.D. declared, ‘Anyway, it don’t count with a man.’

Buck raised a worldly eyebrow.

‘Can’t hardly be my first time,’ J.D. continued, ‘when it don’t even count.’

‘Oh, it’ll count with me, J.D..’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Don’t underestimate me, kid.’

J.D. grimaced at him. ‘And it’s not something I could ever tell anyone about.’

‘Well, that’s the truth.’ Buck nodded gravely, thanking God once more for Chris Larabee, an honest man who forgave his friends and accepted their foibles, even though he could never forgive or accept himself. ‘One day you might find a true friend who’ll hear anything you need to tell him, but otherwise discretion is called for.’

Intent on his own thoughts, J.D. said, ‘My momma always said, if it’s something I can’t tell her or anyone else, then it’s wrong.’

‘That’s a good way of defining conscience for a child, J.D.. But you don’t get to be a man for very long without realizing there’s always things you need to keep to yourself, for the sake of peace and decency. This town,’ Buck continued, indicating the restaurant’s other patrons all around them, ‘is held together by the myth of civilization. It’s as if everyone has the same day dream, and they’re working together to pretend it’s true. Well, for their sake, I’m willing to be silent about some things, right or wrong.’

A bitter glance from those dark brown eyes. ‘That’s hardly reassuring, Buck.’

‘Hey, if you really want someone to talk to about this, and I won’t do, there’s Chris, all right? He knows everything about me, and he still calls me a friend.’

J.D. looked horrified, or terrified – or both. ‘I couldn’t talk to Mr. Larabee!’

‘Well, then, I bet Josiah would listen. And I bet he wouldn’t try damning you or converting you, either, like most preachers would.’ Buck mentally considered their other friends for a moment. ‘There’s Vin, I guess. Not that I’ve ever raised the topic with him, and it’s hard to predict how a man’ll react, but I figure he’d take it in his stride.’

‘None of which,’ J.D. growled, ‘means it ain’t wrong.’

To which Buck’s only reply was a shrug. ‘We all have our own notions of right and wrong, J.D..’

‘Well, what if you, uh, _change_ me, and I end up never wanting a woman again?’

‘There’s nothing I’m gonna do that’ll change how you react to anyone else.’

‘Oh yeah?’ J.D. countered with massive sarcasm. ‘What if I _like_ it? I mean, _really_ like it? What happens to me then, huh?’

‘Terrible thing, to like something that much,’ Buck opined with mock sympathy. ‘Would have to be something you’d never escape, no matter what your friends did or didn’t do.’

J.D. cast him a dark look, and turned away.

Buck just watched the youngster for a long moment, before observing, ‘For someone who has twenty reasons why not, you sure won’t let this alone, J.D..’

Their meals arrived, and Buck began eating, though J.D. just sighed and sat there staring down at his food. At last the kid said, ‘You know why, damn it. You know I’m saying yes.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Buck softly replied.

J.D. looked up at him. ‘Don’t you dare get smug about this, Buck. I couldn’t bear it if you got smug.’

Unable to suppress a laugh, Buck agreed, ‘All right!’

‘All right,’ J.D. repeated, absently nodding as if resigning himself to a difficult decision. ‘All right.’ And he finally began eating his meal.

♦

J.D. was in Buck’s room alone with the man now, even though J.D. still wasn’t quite able to really think about what he was agreeing to. To be honest, he didn’t have much of an idea about what exactly would happen, or how, despite bothering about it all night and all morning. But _something_ would happen at least, J.D. would finally be blessed by the flesh of another human being; and even though it wasn’t gonna be like he’d always assumed it would be, J.D. couldn’t help but feel anticipation…

‘You’re quiet,’ Buck said.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are. Usually you’re talking at twenty miles an hour. Got nothing to say to me now?’

J.D. shook his head _no_. What could he say, after all? He didn’t know what to do, what to expect, what to ask Buck, what to tell him. J.D.’s close brush with Emily hadn’t prepared him for this. And Buck had always known that J.D. was lying when he claimed to have experience with women, so there was no point in suffering through a confession at this late stage.

Buck was pouring them each a brandy. ‘Just a nip, mind you,’ the man murmured, turning around with both glasses in his hands.

Standing there stuck in the middle of the room, J.D. was horribly aware of Buck’s bed looming behind him… What was gonna happen in that bed? And when? He hated this waiting! Unable to remain silent, J.D. blurted out, ‘Can we just get on with it?’

‘There’s a pace to be set, J.D.. Slow and steady, I think, for you and me…’ Buck smiled at him, and handed a glass over.

J.D. took it, and defiantly swallowed the liquor down in one gulp.

‘Whoa there, pard.’ Buck sipped at his brandy, looking down on J.D. with amusement. ‘That’s enough, all right? Too much alcohol mars performance. You’d know that if you read your Shakespeare, there’s lots of good advice in Shakespeare. But a little’ll loosen you up. There ain’t no need to be so nervous, J.D..’

‘I ain’t nervous.’

Buck just smiled at him, irritatingly – verging on smug. ‘Of course you are. And, like I warned you, don’t expect the earth to move. Not the first time. First times are never perfect. Sex is something you have to learn, I guess. Not just how to do it, but how to enjoy it.’

‘You’re not helping, Buck.’

‘No? No, I guess not.’ Buck took J.D.’s glass from him, and set both glasses down on the bedside table, and then –

– and then Buck was sweeping J.D. up into a beautiful lush kiss, promising pleasure and passion and all kinds of good things like that.

J.D. was breathless afterwards. If there’d been a part of him that’d still needed seducing, well, the kiss had done the job. ‘Are you sure it’s not gonna be good?’ he asked, panting and needy, and reveling in Buck’s arms holding on round his waist. ‘That was good.’

Buck just laughed; and then he let J.D. go, but only in order to start undoing the buttons on J.D.’s shirt. Kisses were pressed to his bare skin as it was revealed. J.D. shivered, though the room wasn’t cold, and Buck laughed again. It occurred to J.D. that he should be doing the same to Buck; but the man just batted his tentative hands out of way, and then sank to his knees to unfasten the buttons of J.D.’s trousers…

And that’s when it all went from happening too slow, to rushing by far too fast. Buck was kissing J.D. – kissing him _there_ – soft little licks and kisses at first, running up and down the length of him – but then Buck took J.D. into his mouth, and swirled his tongue around J.D.’s cockhead – and that was the end of the whole damned thing.

A moment later, J.D. was standing there half relieved and half spent and horribly disappointed. His throat was crammed up with the cry he hadn’t let loose – even in the throes of it, he’d managed to keep enough sanity not to alert the whole town – but when at last he could speak, J.D. blurted out, ‘That was _it_?’

Buck was gazing up at him with a sparkle in his eyes, hands wrapped firmly round J.D.’s hips. ‘Sorry, kid. I misjudged.’

_‘Sorry?_ That’s all you can say? For God’s sake, Buck!’ It had been nothing, really. Just a release. Not even as pleasurable as the few times he’d done himself.

But Buck was laughing again. ‘It gets better with practice, J.D..’

‘Yeah, right.’

‘Hey, where do you think you’re goin’? We’re not done yet.’

‘We’re not?’ J.D. quit buttoning himself up, and hovered hopefully, having only taken two steps towards the door.

‘No…’ Buck smiled, rose gracefully to his feet, and held a hand out to J.D.. ‘We’ll do it properly this time. We’ll make it to the bed, for a start.’

J.D. placed his hand in Buck’s, and let the man draw him into another of those amazingly lush kisses…

♦

‘Come on, kid,’ Buck murmured, words muffled by the pillow. ‘I told you we’re doin’ this properly. I told you it would count.’

J.D. looked down at the man spread facedown before him. Buck was utterly naked, and offering him everything a man could give; but all J.D. could do was kneel there at the foot of the bed, full of need and equally full of doubt. In fact he was almost failing, quailing, shriveling like he had with Emily…

‘Come on, J.D.,’ Buck softly said. He wasn’t impatient – not yet. Maybe he soon would be. Because J.D. had gotten the distinct impression, from a few guilty glances down _there_, that Buck really wanted this. Which was good, except –

‘I don’t know…’

‘Sure you do, kid. You’ve been wanting to do this for years.’

‘Not exactly like this,’ J.D. countered with a sigh. He was terribly afraid that he’d hurt Buck – though he’d been afraid of hurting Emily, too, so that wasn’t any different. But this wasn’t at all how he’d pictured his first time.

Giving up for now, J.D. shifted up to straddle Buck’s hips, and then he leaned forward to lie on the man, embracing him. The feel of so much skin against skin was poignantly sweet; perhaps if J.D. had felt more confident, this would have been enough to quickly finish him off yet again…

As a boy seeking comfort, J.D. had often gone to the stables and climbed up on a horse, sat there bareback, leaning forward until he was lying against its pungent warmth, legs astraddle, face pressed against the horse’s mane, arms embracing its neck. Drawing comfort from the animal’s strength and certainty, from its trust in him. Once, when everything had seemed hopeless, he’d cried like that. It was a long time ago. Even so, despite his youth, he’d been aware it was partly a sexual thing. And now, lying down along Buck’s back with his thighs cradling the man’s rear, J.D. was blessed with one of the purest, most powerful charges he’d ever felt.

At last he began moving, clumsily thrusting his hardness against Buck’s firm skin, feeling himself beginning to heat up, a slight dampness between them easing his movements. Buck was pushing back against him, cooperative, even eager. The need within J.D. began singing an insistent song…

But Buck murmured, ‘Whoa there, pard,’ unintentionally echoing J.D.’s memories of horses. ‘At this rate, it’s gonna be over before it’s begun. _Again_,’ he added, less gently. ‘You wanna do this right?’

‘Yeah,’ J.D. said, his throat still crammed up with all the words he couldn’t say, all the yells and whimpers he couldn’t voice.

J.D. thought he’d die of shame and need, but he buried his face against Buck’s back, and with his fingers he found that tiny entrance to Buck’s body, and it gave way to him quite easily, and then he was guiding himself inside, pushing into sanctuary, and he feared he might die of relief and gratitude. His friend was moving beneath him, helping it happen, welcoming him, lifting himself to meet J.D.’s thrusts. Plunging in as carefully as he could, J.D. wondered if he mightn’t die of joy.

♦

Afterwards, Buck got them both cleaned up, and then he lay back on his bed with J.D. in his arms. Though J.D. had forgotten one vital thing, the expression on his face made it all worthwhile: the boy was smiling softly, smugly, like he’d found ten thousand dollars in his pocket and no one would ever deny him again. As J.D.’s eyes languidly closed, Buck murmured, ‘Any time, kid.’

‘Ah, Buck…’ J.D. sighed, and then he looked up to meet Buck’s gaze. ‘Did you like it, too?’

Buck’s smile broadened. ‘Maybe you didn’t make me howl, but I sure liked it, J.D.. I liked it a lot.’

‘I’m glad.’ And the boy settled again, happily sated.

‘You just had to get past your first time,’ Buck said, low enough that it wouldn’t disturb J.D. if he was gonna fall asleep. ‘It’ll get easier now, it’ll get real easy. And, if you do it for the right reasons, it’ll get real good.’

J.D.’s fingers drifted across Buck’s chest, caressing and exploring, as if the boy was unable to quite leave him be. He daringly circled Buck’s right nipple with a fingertip, then trailed across to find the other one – except that J.D. stopped halfway, and sat up the better to look at what he’d found. It was the scar that a madman’s sword had left, running diagonally from one collarbone down over his heart to Buck’s lower ribs.

Gazing at the still-reddened flesh, J.D. whispered, ‘You took this for me, months ago. You only just met me, and you saved my life.’

‘Yeah, I did. And I’d do it again.’ Buck smiled at the kid, though he knew the expression was kind of lopsided. ‘Rather you never made it necessary, though.’

‘I know…’ J.D. returned the smile, lopsidedness and all. Then he bent his head to kiss the scar, as if to make it better, or maybe as if to say thank you in a way that words couldn’t express. That was about the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for Buck.

As easily distracted as ever, though, J.D. raised himself up again. ‘God, Buck!’ he exclaimed, face comically dismayed. ‘What about you?’

Ah, yes, that one last vital thing. Buck chuckled. ‘What about me?’

‘This isn’t just for me, you know.’

‘It isn’t?’

‘No,’ J.D. said with great certainty. ‘This is for you as well.’ The kid’s warm brown eyes were almost glowing at him; Buck shook his head, wondering if that was a trick of the westering sun casting its rays through the raggedy old curtains. ‘We ain’t done it properly until you’ve had your pleasure, too.’

‘Hey, do you hear me arguing?’ Buck murmured. He shifted up onto an elbow, gathered J.D. closer to him, seduced the boy’s mouth with a hungry kiss.

‘And, Buck?’ J.D. said as Buck freed his lips to roam lower, feeding on J.D.’s throat and shoulders. ‘Show me what Josiah meant. You know, when he said the act of love should be spiritual.’

‘Now he wants _spiritual_ as well?’ Buck complained with a groan. But he took the kid’s fresh, lovely body deeper into his embrace, and spent a delightfully long time demonstrating all the God-given joys that one man’s flesh could incite in another’s.

♦

‘Buck?’

It was the dead of night, utterly dark, and Buck had been soundly asleep.

‘Please, Buck?’

From the sound of him, J.D. wasn’t exactly awake either. But he was needy, his body moving hungrily against Buck’s more by instinct than intent.

‘Sure, kid,’ Buck replied, and he helped J.D. clamber up on top of him, so they were face to face and groin to groin. The boy began thrusting against him, moaning quietly, perhaps still caught in a web of dreams. Sleepy kisses trailed damply along Buck’s mouth and cheek.

Buck caressed the handsome young face he couldn’t see, found the soft hair on J.D.’s jaw, a wistful copy of Vin’s manly stubble, and stroked it gently.

Moments later J.D. gasped in surprise, and his seed pooled between Buck’s belly and his own. ‘God, Buck…’ And soon the kid slipped away into sleep again, his snores only slightly louder than his moaning had been.

‘Love you, J.D.,’ Buck whispered into the night, knowing that J.D. wouldn’t understand if he heard. Not yet. Love wasn’t a black-and-white emotion with clear-cut expectations, and J.D. was only just beginning to realize that few relationships could be easily defined.

Buck shifted the boy back to lie at his side, slipped an arm round his waist, and followed him into dreams.

♦

And J.D. woke up early the next morning ready for more. Of course. Buck sighed. ‘You’re insatiable, kid. Lot of missed opportunities to make up for, eh?’

‘Come on, Buck,’ the boy pleaded quite happily, ‘you know I need the practice.’

‘Oh, don’t worry, you’re learning real quick.’

‘And it’s great!’ J.D.’s grin stretched from ear to ear. ‘Great great great. With a man it’s like loving yourself, only better.’

Buck rolled his eyes, sat up and swung his legs off the bed. ‘I need coffee, and I need breakfast, and then I need some more coffee.’ He reached for his undershirt.

‘Come on…’ J.D. began pressing kisses down Buck’s backbone. ‘What happened to Buck Wilmington the legendary lover? Or are you getting too old for all that now?’

Deciding to let himself be momentarily swayed by such a pitiful challenge, Buck growled and turned on the boy. They ended up sprawled back across the bed, J.D.’s hips already thrusting up against Buck as if they had a mind of their own. Buck bestowed a kiss on the boy, but then made the effort necessary to quell him. ‘Breakfast,’ Buck said. ‘And then we’ll come back here. But you can only have the morning, all right, J.D.? This isn’t a romance. This isn’t till death do us part.’

‘I know that,’ J.D. retorted, with a passably good attempt at a world-weary tone. ‘You think I don’t know that? This is about you and me loving each other, but even so we’re gonna part as friends, right about noon. If you can let me go,’ J.D. added with an outrageous wink. ‘And you’re gonna go on seducing every woman who wants you, and I guess maybe some of the men, too, and I’m gonna find a woman somewhere who wants me. And that’s about all there is to it.’

Buck stared down at the boy, flabbergasted despite himself. Perhaps J.D. had grown up some more lately, and Buck just hadn’t noticed.

‘Breakfast!’ J.D. declared, pushing Buck off him, and heading for his clothes. ‘Hell, I swear I could eat three breakfasts this morning… All that tarnishing sure gets you hungry. Don’t know that I need the coffee! _You’d_ better drink a whole pot, though…’

‘Yeah,’ Buck breathed, sitting up even though he hadn’t yet regained his equilibrium. ‘Breakfast,’ he echoed absent-mindedly. But when J.D. laughed at him, Buck managed to smile.

♦


End file.
